I was browsing through a social media feed recently when a response to a coaching post really struck me. Someone commented, ‘it’s no wonder isn’t it that most coaches also have coaches too…..haha” in a unmistakably cynical tone. I felt like responding, “well of course we do!!!” but I think the point would have been lost.
The perception often is that coaches aim to ‘fix’ something that is ‘wrong’ with someone else. Then, they seek coaching too, because surely they are only coaches because they are trying to figure out how to fix themselves – is that it??
So, let me set a few things straight. Firstly, often times the best candidates for coaching are those who are already doing well, they are already relatively successful, relatively happy, usually intelligent and always resourceful. A coach isn’t there to fix them in any way. These people know, within themselves, that although everything’s pretty good, they’re not great, and what’s more, they know in their hearts that things could be great.
Most of us lead busy lives filled with work, exercise, family, eating, sleeping and everything else that our daily routine entails. We are often so busy doing little things that the minutes blend into hours, the hours blend into days, the days into weeks and before we know it, we wonder where we are actually going. Rarely do we give ourselves the time, space and opportunity to talk through where we are at, how we feel about it and where we want to go. No one asks and no one seemingly cares. Teaming up with a coach is a proactive step that innately motivated people take to unlock this opportunity. The simple act of stopping, answering questions that allow the veil we live beneath to slip off and reveal what’s been hiding underneath for far too long can be life-changing, if not, life-adjusting.
A coaching session can be likened to the feeling when you travel overseas by yourself, leaving your partner, children and daily life behind for a bit. That feeling of finding yourself again. Re-acquainting yourself with that curious, adventurous, risk taking and positive person that’s been sleepily hibernating. Safe out of the mundane routine of your daily life, you are you again and you start to dream…….
Here are 5 reasons why coaches (and any successful person) have coaching…….
1/ They believe in themselves – self belief isn’t about being big-headed or egotistical. It’s about that little niggle inside that tells us we know we can do better. We know what we are capable of and for some reason we are not pushing ourselves. We are settling. We believe we are capable of more and we want to discover why we aren’t bothering to do it.
2/ They want to grow – life is a journey, we don’t suddenly turn a certain age and think – ‘well this is it….no more opportunity for me!”. Day to day routines can bog us down and we forget the blinkers are on, the peripheral vision is blurred. Ever heard people say – ‘age is a number”, or a 100 year old person say they feel shocked by that age; they still feel 30! It’s the realisation that at any age we can improve, get out of our comfort zone and challenge ourselves. Life has purpose and meaning right to the end. Coaching gives us the space to explore that.
3/ They know what they want – a coach doesn’t tell us what to do – we already pretty much know that, after all, we are experts on ourselves! Most of us know what we want, but for some reason, something we become blinded to, holds us back or slows us down. A coach helps us explore what these things are. Once they are revealed, we know what to do about them.
4/ They’re looking to the future – coaches discover that the best part about the past is our perspective of how our experiences serve us in the present and future. We realise that our thoughts and feelings impact our actions, and our actions impact our present happiness and future potential. If our actions serve us now, they serve our future and coaching can help us pinpoint what our helpful and less helpful actions are and the thoughts we need to adjust to prevent the pattern continuing.
5/They are open and curious – building self-awareness requires a certain level of vulnerability. Coaches know that part of the coaching journey is about squirming a bit, feeling uncomfortable in hearing yourself verbalise thoughts that, in the light of day clearly hold you back. It’s about delving into the why behind the why behind the why, without a coach perhaps ever asking ‘why?’.
The take-home message is that coaches aren’t there to fix broken humans and tell you how to live your life. Coaches are also not broken and looking for answers about how to run their life. As one fellow coach often says, ‘performance is potential minus the interference”. A coach partners with a client to explore what that interference looks like and how they can strive for their unlimited potential. Why wouldn’t a coach want a piece of that too?
Kristin McMaster, Director, Health Coaches International, ICF Member, Masters in Nutrition, Healthy Transitions Coach. join us in our Coaching for Excellence program and discover how you can strive towards your potential! https://healthcoachesinternational.com/courses/coaching-for-excellence-course/